Don't you just love when people misinterpret you? Hilarious, huh?
It's not all that easy though when you don't realize it until later. Ignorance is bliss they say. If only it would stay that way.
How does one convey meaning and intention in a way that is not easily misinterpreted? Is it possible to be fully understood in any one matter by any one person?
I find acquaintances are especially difficult to converse with. More often than not things either go under or overstated, and consequently false impressions arise.
I would like to clear all misconceptions and wipe them from the minds of onlookers and participants alike, but it is not possible without revealing more than I should. I do not appreaciate being the stem of humor or being made into a joke. What you mock is who I am. I urge you to be more respectful.
Secret Kiss
My Beloved is Mine
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Dreams
No. It's just not possible again. Well at least not so soon. Don't forget what happened last time.
Maybe it is possible; you don't know for sure. But I do agree: It is too soon.
It's just too difficult to think that it might never happen, that he might never come. I have to keep hoping that it will come true. All he has to do is prove it.
You talk like it's so easy. Why don't you tell me what it is exactly I need to do?
Wow, so much, I don't know if I can do that right now.
It's okay; if it's not you, then God has someone who will.
Maybe it is possible; you don't know for sure. But I do agree: It is too soon.
It's just too difficult to think that it might never happen, that he might never come. I have to keep hoping that it will come true. All he has to do is prove it.
You talk like it's so easy. Why don't you tell me what it is exactly I need to do?
- Well, to start you must love God. The very essence of the dream is rooted in knowing, loving, and following Him. How can I follow one who doesn't follow God?
- The second is the actual proof. This could easily be the toughest thing because I know I can be stubborn and untrusting (You said that right!) One way to help is to get recommendation letters. It says a lot that a guy would go through the trouble to involve close friends and family in this process.
- Doing something inconvenient (for you) that would brighten my day is another thing. If I randomly crave ice cream, but it's a blizzard out there, you could surprise me with my favorite treat! It's those little things that help assure me that it's true. Self-sacrifice is another big one that goes hand in hand with that one. Giving up time, or effort to please me or to help me in some way, especially when you don't want to is ample proof.
- Say it. especially at weird times. Especially if our relationship doesn't call for it. It would be so wonderful to know a guy who was willing to commit to it and take the risk without the assurance I could reciprocate. When you know what you want, you don't hesitate to go get it!
- Dedication! If you were dedicated long term to me, and proved it through devotion and fidelity, it would definitely help your case.
Wow, so much, I don't know if I can do that right now.
It's okay; if it's not you, then God has someone who will.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Changes
To change is to be in constant motion. Change requires effort and motivation; it usually exceeds a previous realm of knowledge.
People can be difficult to understand. When dealing with new acquaintances, I have found it wearisome to amend my point of view or my first opinion of a person with upcoming facts and updates.
I sometimes even find it hard to understand myself. After going through so many circumstances, meeting new people, and changing so much, how can one be certain of who one is? I have heard it said many times that in a marriage you never truly know your spouse entirely; there are always opportunities to get to know him/her better. Perhaps it is the same with yourself. Situations and people influence who you are and how you think, especially when they are dealt with over long periods of time. After fighting a long battle you are sure to have scars.
I know I haven't been perfect or done everything I knew I needed to, but the mistakes I've made have made me who I am and have shaped where I am going. I apologize to anyone I've hurt along the way; I know I've done wrong, but I intend to make it right again.
This is precisely the reason I believe God has placed me at Grace College. Already things have happened that have stretched me and taught me. It's been a little painful, and extremely difficult to get used to, but I know I can rise to the challenge with God by my side. I refuse to compromise or back down. I am in this for the long haul and I intend to fight for what God has for me. Even if that means fighting my self.
I know I'm in no position right now to tell others what to do, but I hope that all I've been through and all I've learned will eventually be an inspiration and testimony to others about God's faithfullness and love for all his people. I know he loves me, despite my epic failures. I know he forgives me, despite my shame. I definitely know he teaches me, despite my rebellion. Therefore, I am excited to see what comes next.
God is the only one who can get us through all our changes and hardships. I know if I believe and trust in him, he will make me into the person I need to be.
Gen. 12:2 and I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and be thou a blessing
People can be difficult to understand. When dealing with new acquaintances, I have found it wearisome to amend my point of view or my first opinion of a person with upcoming facts and updates.
I sometimes even find it hard to understand myself. After going through so many circumstances, meeting new people, and changing so much, how can one be certain of who one is? I have heard it said many times that in a marriage you never truly know your spouse entirely; there are always opportunities to get to know him/her better. Perhaps it is the same with yourself. Situations and people influence who you are and how you think, especially when they are dealt with over long periods of time. After fighting a long battle you are sure to have scars.
I know I haven't been perfect or done everything I knew I needed to, but the mistakes I've made have made me who I am and have shaped where I am going. I apologize to anyone I've hurt along the way; I know I've done wrong, but I intend to make it right again.
This is precisely the reason I believe God has placed me at Grace College. Already things have happened that have stretched me and taught me. It's been a little painful, and extremely difficult to get used to, but I know I can rise to the challenge with God by my side. I refuse to compromise or back down. I am in this for the long haul and I intend to fight for what God has for me. Even if that means fighting my self.
I know I'm in no position right now to tell others what to do, but I hope that all I've been through and all I've learned will eventually be an inspiration and testimony to others about God's faithfullness and love for all his people. I know he loves me, despite my epic failures. I know he forgives me, despite my shame. I definitely know he teaches me, despite my rebellion. Therefore, I am excited to see what comes next.
God is the only one who can get us through all our changes and hardships. I know if I believe and trust in him, he will make me into the person I need to be.
Gen. 12:2 and I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and be thou a blessing
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
My Day...
So, I woke up this morning (after a text from steve...) and I went to talk to my aunt. She had just recently gotten home from the hospital (for a knee replacement--again) so I wanted to see how she was doing. I had noticed that a nurse was here so I decided to stay in my room til she left. Almost as soon as I came out asking how Aunt Rita was doing, she bombarded me with this statement: "I don't think I can let you stay here anymore."
Wow, talk about too much too early in the morning... So we waited as the nurse packed up and then my aunt went into an explanation of why she didn't want me to stay here, and I waited, practically shell-shocked til I got the idea. Then out of nowhere my grandma walked in! (She's not the most positive person in the world, and she kicked me out of her house last year.) My aunt said that I wasn't doing enough around the house, and that the reason I was only paying $30 a week was so I would make the rest up in work. I explained carefully about Angie jumping on all the work almost everyday (whenever she comes over) leaving little or nothing for me to do. I also said I wasn't aware I needed to do more than I have been. Ryan knows that I am constantly spending an hour or two picking up or vacuuming before youth group or anytime we go out. So I promised to do better and Aunt Rita said she'd give me another chance. I cleaned out the fridge before work and I did the laundry, so I hope that helped.
So at work a few things happened also to dampen the mood. I smashed my finger in a door; it bled all over my arm... It's okay now, but it's a bit nasty. Also, we were told to pick up and throw away the doorstops yesterday, and I had missed Mrs. Tyree's. For you who do not know, she is the superintendent's wife, and she holds a lot of power, but she's really nice (to me...) So I picked up one and went on cleaning and she came in the room asking if anyone moved her doorstop (there were girls practicing there too.) I explained what Steve had said and that Dave had talked to the Fire Marshall about them being fire hazards. She looked very frustrated and said she's had this discussion with Steve before and she supposed she should email him in the morning. I was so worried she was mad at me. I'm still not certain she wasn't.
Also, in the break room there were doughnuts and I saw one I thought was jelly filled. I asked Sue if she thought it was jelly or something else. She didn't know but thought it might be vanilla pudding (with is my favorite,) but I didn't wanna take the chance and I took a plain one instead. Then later, Sue took the doughnut and it was my favorite!! It reminded me of Dunkin Doughnuts. I miss their Bavarian cream doughnuts.
I think there was something else at work but I don't remember. Working there in general sucks anyway...
Wow, talk about too much too early in the morning... So we waited as the nurse packed up and then my aunt went into an explanation of why she didn't want me to stay here, and I waited, practically shell-shocked til I got the idea. Then out of nowhere my grandma walked in! (She's not the most positive person in the world, and she kicked me out of her house last year.) My aunt said that I wasn't doing enough around the house, and that the reason I was only paying $30 a week was so I would make the rest up in work. I explained carefully about Angie jumping on all the work almost everyday (whenever she comes over) leaving little or nothing for me to do. I also said I wasn't aware I needed to do more than I have been. Ryan knows that I am constantly spending an hour or two picking up or vacuuming before youth group or anytime we go out. So I promised to do better and Aunt Rita said she'd give me another chance. I cleaned out the fridge before work and I did the laundry, so I hope that helped.
So at work a few things happened also to dampen the mood. I smashed my finger in a door; it bled all over my arm... It's okay now, but it's a bit nasty. Also, we were told to pick up and throw away the doorstops yesterday, and I had missed Mrs. Tyree's. For you who do not know, she is the superintendent's wife, and she holds a lot of power, but she's really nice (to me...) So I picked up one and went on cleaning and she came in the room asking if anyone moved her doorstop (there were girls practicing there too.) I explained what Steve had said and that Dave had talked to the Fire Marshall about them being fire hazards. She looked very frustrated and said she's had this discussion with Steve before and she supposed she should email him in the morning. I was so worried she was mad at me. I'm still not certain she wasn't.
Also, in the break room there were doughnuts and I saw one I thought was jelly filled. I asked Sue if she thought it was jelly or something else. She didn't know but thought it might be vanilla pudding (with is my favorite,) but I didn't wanna take the chance and I took a plain one instead. Then later, Sue took the doughnut and it was my favorite!! It reminded me of Dunkin Doughnuts. I miss their Bavarian cream doughnuts.
I think there was something else at work but I don't remember. Working there in general sucks anyway...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
uh, Modeling?!
On second thought, maybe I'm not cut out for modeling? I've got a lot on my plate, and I'm not so sure I'm the model "type". Plus you have to be able to travel to the interview if you are a finalist... Not that it's likely I would be... What is your opinion?
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