Secret Kiss

Secret Kiss
My Beloved is Mine

Friday, December 18, 2009

Seductive Shadows

There once was a princess named Lindsey. Lindsey was a spontaneous girl who loved to explore new places and question new things. One day she stumbled upon a part of the castle she had never seen, but her friend's older brother, Leum, told her he didn't want her to go there. She didn't think anything could harm her, and she decided to just try it out a bit. If things got horrible she could always turn back.


So Leum decided to follow her just in case she needed his help. Since she didn't notice him, she went on her merry little way. When Lindsey opened the door, she smelled the most luscious scent that had ever caressed her tiny nose. What she didn't notice was the hint of foreboding doom in the air. Whistling and humming her way down the dark dusty corridor, Lindsey started to drool, and as her eyes started to dilate she grew less aware of the eerie darkness closing in on her and her silent companion. All that was important became the fruitful, delicious scent still enticing her nostrils.


Seemingly unaware of whatever was captivating Lindsey, Leum trudged on behind her, acting as a bodyguard of sorts against invisible enemies lurking behind every shadow. Finally the hall ended abruptly into a large creepy cavern with a podium in the center. Standing with his back turned to the entrance was a dark mysterious figure of a man. Leum didn't trust this man, but he wasn't in a position to question castle authority. Perhaps this man was above Leum's rank and that is why he had never previously encountered him.


Just as Lindsey reached the steps, the man turned around. At the breathtaking sight of him, Lindsey stopped in shock. She waited as the apparently young man regally descended the podium steps. His long brown locks of hair were like a wavy haired toddler's, cascading down his temples in a frivolous manner. His eyes were a soft hazel and his skin was like velvet and cashmere.


His lips parted to speak; the scent got immensely stronger... Lindsey almost fainted at the sight of his deep scarlet tongue. As the words dripped off into the air, even Leum almost forgot to listen for their meaning, getting caught in the way the syllables danced off his teeth.


"I see you have come for me at last darling." The words seemed so simple from anyone else, but from this man, they were more precious than gold.


As he reached his new-found lover, the beautiful man reached his tan muscular arm around Lindsey's waist and drew her into his embrace. Lindsey couldn't help but stare into the vast pools of his eyes. As he brought her closer and closer, she went deeper and deeper. The pools swallowed her up. It seemed as though the man's soul was searching her own; seeking in the deep crevices of every part of her being for ... something...


Seeking and pulling, the man drew Lindsey nearer and nearer, to the point where their lips were parted by mere millimeters, ready to embrace... However, as their lips brushed, there was a rotten stench that escaped from his lungs, almost so vile as to make Leum, yards away, vomit with disgust. This was just the sign Leum was anticipating; he now knew what and who this vile creature was.


Just as the very last millimeters were being devoured, Lindsey felt a sting in her heart, like a knife plunging through her chest. Streaks of red lightning seared her eyeballs and she knew whatever the man was searching for, he had found it. As Lindsey found herself scrambling for her footing and gasping for oxygen, she saw out of the corner of her eyes a blurried figure. She flinched, ready for the blow...


But it never came, and in shock she fainted.


After the red lightning faded, and her vision came back. Lindsey noticed she could breathe, but her heart still felt like it was severed in two...or maybe more like a million. After the events of the evening came rushing back to her, Lindsey promptly sat up straight searching for signs of impending doom, but in the process knocked her head on whatever was in front of her.


"OUCH!!!" yelled someone... else.


"Leum?!" the shaken princess cried hopefully, "is that really you?"


"Princess!! are you all right?! I'm sorry I was in your way. I needed to keep an eye on you to make sure you didn't go into shock or never... wake up." As Leum said these words he realized he had almost lost the most precious thing in his life: not just his future Queen, but the love of his life. Overwhelmed with gratitude for Lindsey's safety, Leum was suddenly speechless.


"Leum?? what happened?" Lindsey vaguely remembered the lightning, and the sweet aroma, but mostly the pain that rendered her motionless and the vile scent that followed her intoxication.


The pain...


The pain kept coming in waves


Finally Lindsey passed out in Leum's arms and he silently carried her from the eerily empty cavern into the light of the courtyard. Recovery afterward proved impossible. Lindsey suffered short minor pangs in her chest constantly, and her golden brown eyes had changed to a creepy red color. Physically the doctors could find nothing wrong with the princess, but Leum knew she would always suffer these symptoms. Leum in fact was Lindsey's only comfort from the effects of her encounter; it seemed the pain dulled when she was by his side. In fact, the effects were so therapeutic, the two became almost inseparable.


As the months dragged on, cold dark winter turned into bright cheery spring. By April, Leum and Lindsey were officially recognized as a couple by the royal court. Preparations began for the most elaborate and glorious wedding on the first of May.


Like all giddy brides, Lindsey was nervous and excited up to the hour of the ceremony. There were colorful ribbons and flowers everywhere. It was the most beautiful sight she had seen, not counting the beautifully-ugly man -- but she wouldn't think of that on this day. Lindsey drew in a deep cleansing breath, drawing in the dewy may morning air. Nothing could be more perfect


The music started playing and she grabbed a bouquet of white roses and lilies. The bridesmaids were all in place. all Lindsey had left was to walk; walk and breathe.


Slowly, regally, Lindsey took her time walking up the aisle, smiling to her subjects and loved ones wishing her well on this joyous occasion. As her gaze rested on her beloved Leum, she noticed for the first time how his long brown locks cascaded down his temples. A shiver ran down Lindsey's spine. Leum's eyes... his eyes were a soft hazel, drawing her in closer, searching for... something.


Lindsey's breathing got heavy and ragged, tearing at her throat like something was clawing to get out, like the scream in her lungs was trapped inside. Her eyes, wide with fear were nevertheless locked on her "loves" eyes.


As the priest started in on the ceremony, it seemed like no one knew what agony was going on within the poor princess. No one could see she was struggling to stay sane. Didn't anyone know her well enough to know she was trapped just like before? How did Leum get to that cave in the first place? Of course he had to be the mysterious man. She couldn't believe she had never noticed the similarities.


Just as Lindsey was contemplating how she could have blocked out her terrors true image enough to not recognize him in the flesh, the priest ceased his ramblings and the whole earth caught their breath in anticipation. Lindsey couldn't move her mouth to answer, to scream in protest.


As her eyes searched any way to escape the groom's spell, a red-hot voice, not unlike lightning spoke. The voice resonated in the very core of her being. Though it seemed louder than a battle cry to her, no one in the whole palace courtyard seemed to notice it.


"Lindsey." The voice spoke her name as if it were the only true and right way it was to be spoken. "Lindsey..."


With that one name, the princess felt an instant calm within her soul. The pain, which had never stopped for one minute seemed to heal itself so that it had never been there at all. Lindsey was free to look upon her tormentor with not only courage but also forgiveness and love. She realized this man had broken her heart... almost literally, but this voice had healed months of suffering in an instant.


It was not only that, but the voice had given the princess the ability to love this man, more than she had ever loved him in the dark shadowy caves. She could love him in the open, free with the birds singing and people of the court waiting for her answer...


Her answer!


"Yes... YES!! I DO!!"


Lindsey practically screamed it when coming from her reverie. A shout of joy came from her parents and from the crowd. A short while later the ceremony was finished and celebrations began, but Princess Lindsey never forgot the voice that called her out of darkness, the voice that saved her from hate and death and brought her life everlasting.

*THE END*

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

All about reading too much into it

Don't you just love when people misinterpret you? Hilarious, huh?

It's not all that easy though when you don't realize it until later. Ignorance is bliss they say. If only it would stay that way.

How does one convey meaning and intention in a way that is not easily misinterpreted? Is it possible to be fully understood in any one matter by any one person?

I find acquaintances are especially difficult to converse with. More often than not things either go under or overstated, and consequently false impressions arise.

I would like to clear all misconceptions and wipe them from the minds of onlookers and participants alike, but it is not possible without revealing more than I should. I do not appreaciate being the stem of humor or being made into a joke. What you mock is who I am. I urge you to be more respectful.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Dreams

No. It's just not possible again. Well at least not so soon. Don't forget what happened last time.

Maybe it is possible; you don't know for sure. But I do agree: It is too soon.

It's just too difficult to think that it might never happen, that he might never come. I have to keep hoping that it will come true. All he has to do is prove it.

You talk like it's so easy. Why don't you tell me what it is exactly I need to do?

  • Well, to start you must love God. The very essence of the dream is rooted in knowing, loving, and following Him. How can I follow one who doesn't follow God?

  • The second is the actual proof. This could easily be the toughest thing because I know I can be stubborn and untrusting (You said that right!) One way to help is to get recommendation letters. It says a lot that a guy would go through the trouble to involve close friends and family in this process.
  • Doing something inconvenient (for you) that would brighten my day is another thing. If I randomly crave ice cream, but it's a blizzard out there, you could surprise me with my favorite treat! It's those little things that help assure me that it's true. Self-sacrifice is another big one that goes hand in hand with that one. Giving up time, or effort to please me or to help me in some way, especially when you don't want to is ample proof.

  • Say it. especially at weird times. Especially if our relationship doesn't call for it. It would be so wonderful to know a guy who was willing to commit to it and take the risk without the assurance I could reciprocate. When you know what you want, you don't hesitate to go get it!

  • Dedication! If you were dedicated long term to me, and proved it through devotion and fidelity, it would definitely help your case.

Wow, so much, I don't know if I can do that right now.

It's okay; if it's not you, then God has someone who will.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Changes

To change is to be in constant motion. Change requires effort and motivation; it usually exceeds a previous realm of knowledge.

People can be difficult to understand. When dealing with new acquaintances, I have found it wearisome to amend my point of view or my first opinion of a person with upcoming facts and updates.

I sometimes even find it hard to understand myself. After going through so many circumstances, meeting new people, and changing so much, how can one be certain of who one is? I have heard it said many times that in a marriage you never truly know your spouse entirely; there are always opportunities to get to know him/her better. Perhaps it is the same with yourself. Situations and people influence who you are and how you think, especially when they are dealt with over long periods of time. After fighting a long battle you are sure to have scars.

I know I haven't been perfect or done everything I knew I needed to, but the mistakes I've made have made me who I am and have shaped where I am going. I apologize to anyone I've hurt along the way; I know I've done wrong, but I intend to make it right again.

This is precisely the reason I believe God has placed me at Grace College. Already things have happened that have stretched me and taught me. It's been a little painful, and extremely difficult to get used to, but I know I can rise to the challenge with God by my side. I refuse to compromise or back down. I am in this for the long haul and I intend to fight for what God has for me. Even if that means fighting my self.

I know I'm in no position right now to tell others what to do, but I hope that all I've been through and all I've learned will eventually be an inspiration and testimony to others about God's faithfullness and love for all his people. I know he loves me, despite my epic failures. I know he forgives me, despite my shame. I definitely know he teaches me, despite my rebellion. Therefore, I am excited to see what comes next.

God is the only one who can get us through all our changes and hardships. I know if I believe and trust in him, he will make me into the person I need to be.

Gen. 12:2 and I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and be thou a blessing

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Hindi?

I'm testing this transliteration thingy.

हेल्लो. माय नाम है लिंडसे.

Yay It worked!

My Day...

So, I woke up this morning (after a text from steve...) and I went to talk to my aunt. She had just recently gotten home from the hospital (for a knee replacement--again) so I wanted to see how she was doing. I had noticed that a nurse was here so I decided to stay in my room til she left. Almost as soon as I came out asking how Aunt Rita was doing, she bombarded me with this statement: "I don't think I can let you stay here anymore."

Wow, talk about too much too early in the morning... So we waited as the nurse packed up and then my aunt went into an explanation of why she didn't want me to stay here, and I waited, practically shell-shocked til I got the idea. Then out of nowhere my grandma walked in! (She's not the most positive person in the world, and she kicked me out of her house last year.) My aunt said that I wasn't doing enough around the house, and that the reason I was only paying $30 a week was so I would make the rest up in work. I explained carefully about Angie jumping on all the work almost everyday (whenever she comes over) leaving little or nothing for me to do. I also said I wasn't aware I needed to do more than I have been. Ryan knows that I am constantly spending an hour or two picking up or vacuuming before youth group or anytime we go out. So I promised to do better and Aunt Rita said she'd give me another chance. I cleaned out the fridge before work and I did the laundry, so I hope that helped.

So at work a few things happened also to dampen the mood. I smashed my finger in a door; it bled all over my arm... It's okay now, but it's a bit nasty. Also, we were told to pick up and throw away the doorstops yesterday, and I had missed Mrs. Tyree's. For you who do not know, she is the superintendent's wife, and she holds a lot of power, but she's really nice (to me...) So I picked up one and went on cleaning and she came in the room asking if anyone moved her doorstop (there were girls practicing there too.) I explained what Steve had said and that Dave had talked to the Fire Marshall about them being fire hazards. She looked very frustrated and said she's had this discussion with Steve before and she supposed she should email him in the morning. I was so worried she was mad at me. I'm still not certain she wasn't.

Also, in the break room there were doughnuts and I saw one I thought was jelly filled. I asked Sue if she thought it was jelly or something else. She didn't know but thought it might be vanilla pudding (with is my favorite,) but I didn't wanna take the chance and I took a plain one instead. Then later, Sue took the doughnut and it was my favorite!! It reminded me of Dunkin Doughnuts. I miss their Bavarian cream doughnuts.

I think there was something else at work but I don't remember. Working there in general sucks anyway...