Changes

To change is to be in constant motion. Change requires effort and motivation; it usually exceeds a previous realm of knowledge.

People can be difficult to understand. When dealing with new acquaintances, I have found it wearisome to amend my point of view or my first opinion of a person with upcoming facts and updates.

I sometimes even find it hard to understand myself. After going through so many circumstances, meeting new people, and changing so much, how can one be certain of who one is? I have heard it said many times that in a marriage you never truly know your spouse entirely; there are always opportunities to get to know him/her better. Perhaps it is the same with yourself. Situations and people influence who you are and how you think, especially when they are dealt with over long periods of time. After fighting a long battle you are sure to have scars.

I know I haven't been perfect or done everything I knew I needed to, but the mistakes I've made have made me who I am and have shaped where I am going. I apologize to anyone I've hurt along the way; I know I've done wrong, but I intend to make it right again.

This is precisely the reason I believe God has placed me at Grace College. Already things have happened that have stretched me and taught me. It's been a little painful, and extremely difficult to get used to, but I know I can rise to the challenge with God by my side. I refuse to compromise or back down. I am in this for the long haul and I intend to fight for what God has for me. Even if that means fighting my self.

I know I'm in no position right now to tell others what to do, but I hope that all I've been through and all I've learned will eventually be an inspiration and testimony to others about God's faithfullness and love for all his people. I know he loves me, despite my epic failures. I know he forgives me, despite my shame. I definitely know he teaches me, despite my rebellion. Therefore, I am excited to see what comes next.

God is the only one who can get us through all our changes and hardships. I know if I believe and trust in him, he will make me into the person I need to be.

Gen. 12:2 and I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and be thou a blessing

Romans 3:9-23

Hindi?

I'm testing this transliteration thingy.

हेल्लो. माय नाम है लिंडसे.

Yay It worked!

My Day...

So, I woke up this morning (after a text from steve...) and I went to talk to my aunt. She had just recently gotten home from the hospital (for a knee replacement--again) so I wanted to see how she was doing. I had noticed that a nurse was here so I decided to stay in my room til she left. Almost as soon as I came out asking how Aunt Rita was doing, she bombarded me with this statement: "I don't think I can let you stay here anymore."

Wow, talk about too much too early in the morning... So we waited as the nurse packed up and then my aunt went into an explanation of why she didn't want me to stay here, and I waited, practically shell-shocked til I got the idea. Then out of nowhere my grandma walked in! (She's not the most positive person in the world, and she kicked me out of her house last year.) My aunt said that I wasn't doing enough around the house, and that the reason I was only paying $30 a week was so I would make the rest up in work. I explained carefully about Angie jumping on all the work almost everyday (whenever she comes over) leaving little or nothing for me to do. I also said I wasn't aware I needed to do more than I have been. Ryan knows that I am constantly spending an hour or two picking up or vacuuming before youth group or anytime we go out. So I promised to do better and Aunt Rita said she'd give me another chance. I cleaned out the fridge before work and I did the laundry, so I hope that helped.

So at work a few things happened also to dampen the mood. I smashed my finger in a door; it bled all over my arm... It's okay now, but it's a bit nasty. Also, we were told to pick up and throw away the doorstops yesterday, and I had missed Mrs. Tyree's. For you who do not know, she is the superintendent's wife, and she holds a lot of power, but she's really nice (to me...) So I picked up one and went on cleaning and she came in the room asking if anyone moved her doorstop (there were girls practicing there too.) I explained what Steve had said and that Dave had talked to the Fire Marshall about them being fire hazards. She looked very frustrated and said she's had this discussion with Steve before and she supposed she should email him in the morning. I was so worried she was mad at me. I'm still not certain she wasn't.

Also, in the break room there were doughnuts and I saw one I thought was jelly filled. I asked Sue if she thought it was jelly or something else. She didn't know but thought it might be vanilla pudding (with is my favorite,) but I didn't wanna take the chance and I took a plain one instead. Then later, Sue took the doughnut and it was my favorite!! It reminded me of Dunkin Doughnuts. I miss their Bavarian cream doughnuts.

I think there was something else at work but I don't remember. Working there in general sucks anyway...

uh, Modeling?!

On second thought, maybe I'm not cut out for modeling? I've got a lot on my plate, and I'm not so sure I'm the model "type". Plus you have to be able to travel to the interview if you are a finalist... Not that it's likely I would be... What is your opinion?

Ford Models!!?

Hey just came across an ad for models on myspace (okay, its the first time in at least 2-3 months I've checked my myspace...) Ford, the actual company, is having a contest for models. I've thought about trying it.

However, I need pictures. I don't have a camera, and I'm sure some of my friends are photographers right? So if you're interested let me know! and if I win I'll take you with me (to new york)

Lame Layout

I've been trying to find a layout or whatever for this thing that's better than those on here already, but you will never guess how difficult it is! If I can even find a site with what I need, I find they charge for their designs and I can't spend money on this crap.

Where's Steve when I need him?? oh yeah, it's 12:51 in the morning... He's asleep.

Put your gosh-darn major to work Steve and get me a cool design!! lol